I am a very ambitious person. Mostly it is a good thing, but it has turned out to be destructive for me sometimes. It is a main factor that played in my depression. I admit it has made some things better and helped me keep fighting but. . . .
I can't fall in love because of it!
When I start liking someone and develop a crush, I can't stop thinking about them for a few days. I make some mistakes and act to needy in the beginning; it only stays like that for a short period. I may not be as modest as I should but I can't help but admit that I'm not as bad-looking too. So that's why, I almost always succeed in making a guy I really like falling in love with me. Oh, and also because of my sense of humour and wittiness. *wink, wink* *hint, hint*
Except that one time with 'I'. Arghhhhhh. That guy was something.
Thing is, I can go on forever. There was this guy I was totally smitten for. I spent over 2 years infatuated by him. I got him to fall in love with me. The moment that happened, everything was gone. Poof.
I had absolutely no feelings for him after that.
Nothing.
This always happens. It happened with my last boyfriend too.
And it's happening again with T. Now that I see how interested he's become into me, I can't feel the same connection.
Once I achieve a goal, I am higher. Every relationship is a project to be accomplished. I have to move ahead.
I am so messed up.
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